Given my penchant for ridiculous desserts (such as these fat-laden ambassadors of nom), and my penchant for theoretical feasts (reference the treif-fest), it was only going to be a short while before I combined my passion into another glorious thing: theoretical cakes.
See, I have a list of ~15 dubious life goals. Some of them are totally not blog appropriate. Some are not enough for a blog post yet (e.g. dress as Scarlett O'Hara for Halloween). I figure:
G-d's created some awesome and fascinating things on this earth. Some of them people don't like. Whatever.
Anyway, high on this list of goals is to create a cake that will actually cause you to have issues. Namely, a cake that is 1,000 calories per slice.
Now, it should be noted that the Cheesecake Factory already has some of this available for you. There is a reason I get the simple cheesecakes there.
But it's just so much fun to imagine all the ridiculous things that one could put in a thousand-calorie/slice cake.
So I've got a few ideas down. I won't make them anytime soon, but they were quite fun to dream up.
All cakes are normal, 9", 8-slice cakes except for number 4.
Not very scientific, but still.
1. Nutella-Peanut Butter-Chocolate cake, two layers, with cheesecake frosting and a topping of chopped bananas.
2. Soft Chocolate-Almond Cake with Honey-Almond Frosting Coated in Almonds.
3. Mediterranean Cake, flavored with Dates, Figs, Pomegranate and Almond, served in two layers with a yogurt and honey binding
4. 24 slices. Very tall. Very decadent.
Layer 1: Chocolate Beet Cake
Layer 2: Yellow Cake
Layer 3: Chocolate Hazelnut Cake
Layer 4: Yellow Cake
Layer 5: Chocolate Beet Cake
Binding: Cream cheese frosting.